If I need you one last time
Can I meet you one last time?
Baby, I need you now for your...
This is the kind of quality time I've always dreamt about.
Wow, I forgot you were even here.
Hey.
When are you recording the podcast? Do you need some more Noah's Corner?
We always need more Noah's Corner.
Um, I'm not sure when we're recording this week.
Okay.
What are you guys doing here?
- Hey! - No way!
- Hey! - Gabe, how are ya?
- I'll join ya. - Oh, okay.
You guys, uh, see the Warhol piece inside?
- No. - No, we didn't come for the art.
We came because they have a good gift shop and excellent chai.
- Mm. - Yeah.
So no art at all?
No, I promised her we wouldn't.
My body shuts down inside museums.
I stand in front of a piece of art, and I feel compelled to say
I see something I don't actually see. I can't be myself in front of art.
Yeah, I get that. How's it going at Ahava?
- Was I right about that place or what? - Oh.
- Right? - So right. So right.
It's great. You know, Neil and Cami.
- Mm. - They got very cool ideas.
Um, how are you? How's the fam?
Oh man. Um...
Yeah, Abby and I are done.
- Whoa! - So...
- Oh my God. I can't believe it. - Yeah.
- You guys seemed so happy. - Yeah, but it was fake.
Instagram is fake.
Life is a wild journey, man.
You do seem lighter.
Thank you. Yeah. We both are. We both are. I think it's for the best.
Listen, I've counseled a lot of couples going through some tough times.
I'm your rabbi now. I'd love to talk with you.
Hopefully, there's possible solutions that don't involve separation.
Obviously, it's not just you and Abby now. There's Afternoon. There's Jesse Charles.
Why don't you come by my office tomorrow?
I don't know.
It would be an honor. Whatever comes of it.
- Okay, let's do it. Great. - Okay, good.
- I look forward to it. See you then. - I love it.
- Text me, let me know when. - Okay. Love you guys.
Love you too.
Hm.
Oh man.
I wonder who I can set Abby up with.
Joanne.
What?
Any marriage ending is sad.
I don't agree.
I think you have one life to live, and sometimes, the person you marry
isn't the person you end up being married to.
Did that make sense?
Not really, but I've seen a lot of couples that are ready to give up,
and they found a way to fall back in love. It happens.
I'm sure that that happens, but I think there's also couples
who stay together way too long, and that makes it worse.
Especially on the kids.
No. Obviously, your parents' situation is different.
Is that the only way it can be different?
Like, can you only get divorced if one of them is secretly gay?
- Yeah. 100%. Listen. - Where are you going?
You know what? I gotta go. I'm meeting Batya soon.
Who's Batya?
That would be your mother. She, uh, picked her Hebrew name.
Wow. Okay, well, let me know if she shows up.
Because she usually gives up on stuff right about now.
- Batya will be there. - Okay.
- You good with all this stuff? - Yeah, I'll clean all this up.
Yep, and then if you need me, I'll be in the kitchen, okay?
I know you will.
All right, bye.
Who's your boyfriend now?
So, number one, I wanted to start a relationship with your synagogue
as it seems the right fit.
Does she know we know each other, or is that illegal?
Yep, it's legal.
Okay, then. And, uh, number two,
I wanted to do conversion classes here because I love Noah.
Both on the inside and out. And looks are very important to me.
Me too.
Same page.
- He's gorgeous. - Okay, well, listen.
Typical conversion takes about a year.
Unless, I don't know, unless Ahava has a different protocol.
We have the half year, the "loose conversion,"
and we have the full year, which we call the "conversion no one's ever asked for."
Six months doesn't seem like enough.
I'm very loose, so I would love the loose conversion.
You're not even gonna feel it. It's painless.
- It'll be over before you know it. - Is it cheaper?
- Oh. - No, it's...
We don't charge anyone to become a Jew. We see it as a blessing.
Oh, well, I've already been studying Judaism on my own.
I stay up all night reading about it. I mean, do you wanna test me?
- Ask me anything Jewish. - We don't have to test you.
- No, I wanna test her. - Oh, okay.
Um, okay, what are two objects that are waved around during Sukkot?
Oh, that's hard.
- Well, she wants to be-- - Lulav and etrog.
Wow.
All right. What's the name of Moses's wife?
Zipporah, also known as Sephora,
later to be used by an esteemed beauty supply chain.
I love you. I respect you. This is amazing. I love you.
Honestly, you can't stump me.
I'm a speed reader,
and I also know what happened on every single day of my life.
Just like Marilu Henner.
Uh, listen, Lynn, you seem to really love Jewish learning,
so I really think the year-long course is right for you because--
- No chance. - She's a six-month girl.
Well, thank you for a perfectly gorgeous lunch date.
Aw. And thank you for teaching me how to pronounce "salad niçois."
- Niçoise. - Are you sure there's a--
- No. It's niçoise. - I thought you said... Okay.
I have about 15 minutes till my next patient.
- I gotta tell you about this guy. - Mm.
Really interesting. Extreme kleptomaniac. It's wild.
Isn't that supposed to be confidential?
No. Patient confidentiality is one of the things that Freud was wrong about.
- He was wrong about a lot. This guy... - Andy?
Andy!
Helena.
Oh my God. You look stunning.
- So do you. - Look at your hair.
Your skin. Are you getting younger on me?
Only in spirit.
- Uh-huh. - But thank you.
So wait, how do you know each other?
- She's my ex-patient. - We dated.
- Oh! - I forgot about that.
We did.
I should go. Uh, it was... it was nice seeing you.
- Nice to meet you. - I'll see you.
- Yeah, that was hilarious. - Mm.
I mean, was it? I thought that I was the only patient you dated.
Honestly, it wasn't even a thing. It was like six months or something, so...
Oh, okay.
I mean, six months is a little long-ish to forget, but sure, okay.
- Morgan, I... - It's fine.
I don't even think of her like that. It was...
Why do you doubt that this is real for me?
Because this is the three-week mark, Mom,
where you quit something you thought you were gonna do for the rest of your life,
and I just wanna make sure you don't feel embarrassed
if you're already over it, you know?
No, this is different. This is real.
I... I... I am Jewish. I am sure.
What the hell? Um, how... How are you sure though?
I'm sure, sure, sure.
Are you asking this because I'm converting, or because you're not?
Both. I don't know. Tell me this.
How do you know?
I feel it.
I've spent my whole life feeling like everyone else had something I didn't have.
And now I feel I have it.
Oh my God. This is real. For the first time.
This is the thing you picked that turns out to be real. This is in...
This sucks.
Be happy for me.
I have faith, and it feels...
You know, it's like I was never at peace,
and now I feel at peace.
No, I'm... I'm happy that you're at peace. I really am.
I'm just saying that it would make my life a whole lot easier
if I could feel that too.
Well, everything happens when it's right.
You know, you may have to go at your own speed, just inch by inch.
I don't think I have time to go inch by inch.
Noah and I can't move forward if I don't start feeling something soon.
And meanwhile, Morgan's racing to the altar.
- You know, not a road bump in sight. - You'll get there.
I have faith.
I know.
Quit bragging about it.
We should be done already. This is taking way too long.
Oh. Hey, Fabrizio.
- Oh, hey. - How's it going?
Just dealing with this stupid pool guy.
- Can I help you with this? - Oh my God. Yeah, I'm in a rush.
Joanne left this stuff at my house, and I... Can you leave it on her front step?
- Yeah, yeah, sure thing. - Thank you.
How's the podcast going?
Oh, uh, great.
Yeah, Joanne actually gave you a shout-out on the last episode. It was hilarious.
Oh, cool, yeah. I'll check it out.
Okay. Thank you.
Feels like we spent enough time with my mom.
She asked if we had plans.
Yoo-hoo!
Hey, come in.
Shoes on or off?
Oh, uh, whatever you like.
Hey, Mom, why do I hear Dad's voice?
Uh, we spent the afternoon shopping, and he asked what I was doing for dinner.
Me and your mom are back together. I prayed the gay away.
- Oh, you should have more kids. - We had sex all afternoon.
Oh God!
So I was out there today. I just love the groovy vibe at Ahava.
It... It feels like the perfect place for me.
Yes, it is a groovy vibe.
Noah, now be truthful. Are you into groovy vibes?
- I love groovy vibes. - Okay.
If it's not groovy, get it out. It's not my vibe, you know?
- You guys went shopping? - Lynn got me this sweater.
- What do you think? - Great.
Isn't it wonderful? Don't you love it?
- When did I get man boobs? - Just go one size up.
Don't put yourself down.
I think it's so cool you guys have such a nice relationship.
Yeah, I know.
I mean, when I got divorced, it was hell for a while. Absolute hell.
But we're a better couple now than ever before.
- Yeah? - Lynn is a saint.
The strongest woman I know.
- What about me? - Like I said, the strongest woman I know.
And we still fight.
I mean, sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night,
and I'm so angry at something I remembered that happened when we were together.
And she calls me. I mean, I let her get it all out,
and then I say I'm sorry, and then I beg her to let me get back to sleep.
- Can't be good for your dating. - No.
Well, Dad never dates anyone long enough for them to care.
- Okay. - You know what I mean.
You and Mom aren't commitment people.
Honey, to be fair, you're not much better.
You went to four different high schools.
You were a cosmetologist and an interior designer at that time,
and, um, I haven't seen you give a facial in a while.
- You went to four different high schools? - Yeah.
Five if you count the two days of homeschooling.
High school was hard. I kept wanting to reinvent myself,
but then I was still myself wherever I went.
And we gave her space, you know, to find herself, you know,
figure out who she was.
I think it was a good thing.
I love who she turned into.
I think she's faking it around you.
Where are you going?
Thailand.
- What? - Yep.
It was very last-minute. I just booked it. I had points. I just did it.
- Hi. Who are you? - I am someone who tries new things.
Did I tell you that I did surf camp?
No, you didn't tell me that you did... How was that?
- It was really awful. - It was bad?
Didn't get up on the board even once, and I did almost drown.
But I tried something new.
- Ah, Beck... - Mm-hmm.
I just... I feel like you're in such a great place.
- Like a strange, great place... - Mm.
But such a great place.
Thank you. I really am.
And I mean, I really was not for a long time.
- Sure. - Famously.
But I feel like I'm just so glad that Noah broke up with me.
Like, our last conversation, it weirdly set me free.
I know that sounds corny, but it's really true.
I am so happy that you said it sounds corny.
- Yeah. Okay. - So I didn't have to.
- Good one. - Fun! Look at the rosemary!
- Yeah, that's really pretty. - Okay, wait, cheers!
Cheers!
What's up, loser?
Wait, you're outside?
What's wrong?
Oh man!
- I really liked Dr. Andy. - I know.
- I feel so betrayed. - Me too.
You guys seemed so happy.
I mean, that's what the confusing part is. Like, Dr. Andy makes me happy.
Is this the kind of thing where something like this happens,
and it makes you not trust him, but also, like... it?
Yes.
I don't know, but he dotes on me.
Oh, yeah, no, I mean, it's crazy doting. It's like you're his little Pekingese dog.
I know, then he drops these little bombs.
Like, he doesn't talk to his family, and he can't go to Texas.
That's cool. That's like Thelma and Louise. That's kinda hot.
And today was the biggest bomb of all. Like, I feel completely thrown.
Like, I was living in, like, one version of reality,
and now I'm in a completely different version.
Like... Like, the Dr. Andy who loves me and makes me feel so happy,
just, like, isn't real.
I always think the only way you're really gonna know somebody
is if you can, like, steal their phone and just, like, spend an hour with it.
See their Instagram algorithm. That's gonna tell you who they are.
Oh my God. We actually could. He's dead asleep.
Every time I leave, he just shuts down like a robot.
It's another weird thing about him.
Okay, we have a plan. Buckle your seat belt, baby.
Why am I... I was watching the game.
Oh God. I know it's weird, but sometimes I forget how to have fun.
Running around telling everyone, like, "I'm so fun."
But even I can see that a fun person would, like, never say that.
- Does that make sense? - Mm.
How are you and Sash doing? Are things better, or...
I don't even know how me and Sash are doing, to be honest.
- Right. - Right.
I mean, can I?
You always can.
You guys got married 'cause you were pregnant.
I mean, you were so young.
- Babies. - Babies.
Exactly. We were friends before, and we're gonna be friends forever.
You know, no matter what, but
is Sasha who I would pick today?
Oh wow.
- Anyway, you were gonna show me... - Yeah.
Who are you talking to on Bumble?
We are having a good time.
Okay, fine, fine, fine. Fine.
- Rebecca. He has so many tattoos! - I know.
- And I sent him a message. - Esther, you didn't!
We need to come up with a fake reason for why we're trying to get into this phone.
- Okay. This is exciting. - Yeah, I know.
- Okay, so my beloved aunt died. - Okay.
Her name was...
Uh, Pamela Streisand.
Sounds fake. It sounds like you thought of Barbra Streisand and Pamela Anderson
and put them together.
We're so connected. How did you know I did that?
Because you're an idiot. Okay, so...
- Pamela McMillan... - McMillan.
...was an acclaimed poet,
and this is her greatest book of poems.
- Okay, that's really good. - I know.
Nobody can name a poet but they don't wanna admit they can't.
Exactly.
Uh, Morgan? Morgan?
- Yes. Hi. That's me. - Hi.
- Should I be British for this? - Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Welcome. My name is Terry. How can I help you?
Hello, Terry.
Hi, Terry.
- I can't do this. - No. Kill it.
My aunt died. Pamela McMillan.
- And-- - Oh, she's a very famous poet.
Wrote mostly about, uh, post-famine Ireland, whatever.
Yeah, of course, he knows. So, any case, we are trying to get into her phone
so that we can retrieve her last and perhaps greatest work. Is... Yeah.
Okay, yeah. That's not a believable story in any way, shape, or form. So...
Really?
Yeah.
Okay, so, the truth is, Terry, that my fiancé,
he lied about something,
and we are trying to figure out if he's lying about other things too.
And so you want me to illegally break into his phone and help you out?
Yeah. But we would
prefer that you use a different term than illegally.
- Oh. Of course. - Yeah.
What was I thinking? Okay, so what word should we use?
Ooh. Broad-mindedly?
- Unconventionally. - Yeah.
Okay. Okay. Maybe I can help you guys, yeah.
Okay, that was... Your tone did not sound like you were gonna help us out at all.
As soon as that accent came out, I was like, this won't work.
I'm not going to break into his phone. Still illegal.
What?
Okay, so, uh, I'm sorry, I'm confused,
because it really sounded like you were going to help us.
Yeah, that was...
If you find yourself here at my little help desk
asking me to break into your fiancé's phone
because you don't trust him,
don't you think you already have the answer you're looking for,
Morgan?
- Wow, I got chills. - I know.
God, Terry, you really are a genius.
- Steven? - Yo!
- I'm seeing Gabe tomorrow. - Hm.
He confirmed.
Hoping it's nothing a little honest communication can't solve.
Ah.
Honest communication.
Communication is definitely important.
Okay.
Do you wanna be honest with me about Ahava?
- What about it? - Uh...
About how you hate it?
Oh my God. I don't hate it.
Well, you don't love it.
I... don't love it. No, that's true.
I definitely don't love it. How could you tell?
Well, the groovy vibes thing.
- Was it the groovy vibes? - Yeah. Yeah.
And also the way you say "Neil and Cami."
"Neil and Cami"? Really?
Do you hear that?
Neil and Cami.
Yeah, sorry. Listen, I wasn't trying to hide it from you.
I was just... reluctant to admit it, I think, even to myself.
It's a great place. It's just not my place.
- So how about you? - What?
Something's going on with you and Morgan. She hasn't been around.
You haven't talked to her in days.
We had a really big fight, and we're taking a break from the podcast.
Okay.
I don't think I was emotionally ready to go wedding dress shopping.
- Mm. - It made me feel like we're behind them.
Well, it's not a competition.
- We can't rush this, you know? - I know.
Marriage is a very big deal.
It's, uh, supposed to be
forever.
Why did you say it like that?
I don't love how quickly you want people to give up.
Uh...
Okay, with all due respect to Gabe and Abby,
I'm, like, not that invested in their future.
Fine, let's talk about us, then.
If we were married and things got hard, what would you do?
How am I supposed to answer that?
I don't know, but I mean, you get in a fight, the podcast is off.
Neither of your parents think it's important to stick with anything.
It's scary.
Marriage seems hard, you know? Things won't be perfect.
There'll be days when I'm not your favorite person.
- I know. - Days you're not your favorite person.
It's not like it's high school when you can just
switch every year if you're not happy.
I mean,
I guess you can.
And that's what's so scary.
Okay.
I grew up in a house with two people who never should've gotten married.
Okay? And it went on way too long, and it was horrible.
The version of my parents that you saw tonight,
I would've killed for that when I was little.
I switched high schools
because I was trying to escape my life.
Growing up with a mom who became someone new every year,
it was unstable, and it made me feel anxious.
And all I want now is normalcy and stability.
And I didn't think I'd ever have it.
And you think now that I have the chance, I'm gonna run away from it?
No.
No, I don't.
Good.
'Cause you know what the dream is?
What's the dream?
Wanting to have sex with someone who makes you feel safe.
Hey, everything was...
I didn't think that existed.
Mm.
Gosh, I hope you find that.
...and romance...
I hope you find it too.
...when the sun comes up
If we could just stay
This version of us
- Thank you. - All right.
- Here you go. - Getting ice cream is a great idea.
It's a perfect thing to do when you fail at breaking into somebody's phone.
Yeah. I guess.
I don't know. I guess I'll have to have an honest conversation with him
in the morning.
Nothing worse than an honest conversation.
I guess. I already know what he's gonna do.
He's just gonna turn it around, and he's gonna, like,
I don't know, say that I'm all fucked-up because of my fucked-up family.
That's not fair. Everybody's got a fucked-up family.
- My family's quietly fucked-up. - Mm.
Everybody thinks my mom is so direct, and she says what she means,
but she says what she wants.
And that's... It's, like, a little different.
- I gotta say, I love Bina. - Oh.
She loves you too.
That's why I like her.
I'm just kidding.
And you and Esther seem great.
Yeah, we're... I mean, we're...
Yeah, no, we're good.
Sasha.
Wait, what's going on? You were just staring out into the distance.
I...
She's just... She's been, like, really distant lately.
Kind of feels like I'm losing her, you know?
And it's kind of killing me.
I'm sorry.
You wanna talk about it?
I gotta tell you,
the last thing that I wanna do is have an honest conversation.
I really liked the last episode of your podcast, by the way. The, uh...
The bit about Joanne and the landlord was really funny.
- Oh. - I hope he doesn't listen.
Shit.
Oh my God. I totally forgot what we said about him.
I just remembered we gave Fabrizio a shout-out. Shit.
His name's Fabrizio?
I'm so screwed.
Can I guess what you're gonna say?
- Yeah. - Okay.
You're gonna say, um, marriage should be forever.
And, uh, there are ebbs and flows.
And you need to find a way to weather the storm.
Uh, truthfully, yes.
- I was gonna say something like that, but... - See?
I'm starting to wonder if every couple doesn't have to find their own path.
You know, sometimes families can only come together
once they've come apart.
So why don't you tell me about you and Abby?
I have a lot of thoughts. I'd love to hear it from the beginning.
Great. I wanna get into the weeds.
Great.
- Do you need every gory detail, or... - I don't need it, but I can handle it.
You're in for a wild ride.
Honestly, it was one of my proudest moments as a rabbi.
- Hey. - We spent hours talking about marriage.
Examining it and reexamining it. Pulling it apart and debating it.
So what's he gonna do?
I don't know.
That's the thing about Judaism.
We love to talk about things from every direction. You know?
I was being too rigid in how I was looking at it before.
I love analyzing things from every direction.
I know. It's very Jewish of you.
A religion that encourages me to argue?
Love that.
Sorry, hold on.
I'm just texting my mom.
- Can I tell you something? - Yeah.
You make me a better rabbi.
I definitely do.
What the fuck is this?
Looks like you're being evicted.
Yep. Yep.
Definitely being evicted.
Silhouettes and a hundred days
I heard you're driving her crazy
Now her tongue's spilling out my name It's just so fucking typical
I know she misses the snow
You're angel's 'bout ready to blow
I know things you wouldn't know It's just so fucking typical
The harder you push The more she's wanting to leave
'Cause everything you do You do it desperately
You're out of touch So she comes running to me
In all honesty
Honestly
'Cause your girl Calls me in the middle of the night
Sweet talk She likes that I'm the sentimental type
That's what she told me And she only used her eyes
That's right